birthdays and hurricanes and emails to my grammy

Hi Grammy! How are you?

Just wanted to write and let you know that I have off on Sunday and my mom asked if I would want to go to your house to celebrate my birthday and I told her that I would like that very much, so I will be coming by on Sunday even though there will be a scary hurricane. There's a map you can look at online that shows all the areas that are threatened for flooding in New York City depending on the category of hurricane strength and your house falls in a spot that doesn't look like it will be threatened at all, no matter how bad the storm, so we can all be safe together, plus you guys have lots of canned food just in case. Michael will probably come too, even though he's a dummy sometimes I don't want to worry about him being swept up in any strong wind or rain but if he gets annoying we can always stick him outside. After confirming that I would like to come by on Sunday for birthday celebrations she then asked me if I would like a key lime pie to which I said no. I told her I wanted to request the really good moist layered chocolate cake that grammy makes with raspberry jam in between the layers and that I was scared to make a request because the last time grandpa did for his birthday bars it got denied and wasn't fulfilled for months. She told me I should call or email letting you know. So, hello grammy, this is a confirmation that I will be coming over on Sunday, even in a hurricane, if it's okay, and to request the chocolate cake with raspberry jam. Thanks very much! See you on Sunday! 

Love, 

Emily 

dites moi

 January 26 at 1:13pm 

How are you feeling today? How were you feeling yesterday? What's the latest and greatest? Any current excitement over on your end?

Best,
Drew

January 26 at 1:31pm

Hi Drew
Sometimes I think of you. And I wonder the same things, ie. how you are. Today I am feeling like the world could be my oyster but since I do not like oysters I won't let myself have it and so off to work I will go in half an hours time and then I will be feeling unfulfilled as I fold overpriced clothes that were manufactured in a far off land I've never been to and watch as people unfold the what I've been paid to fix. Yesterday I was feeling hungover and could not get out of bed til about 4pm which made me feel a little depressed. Then I felt hungry and then I felt full because I went to dinner with an old friend. Then I came home and drew a picture of a house on my roomate's sling because she had a terrible accident with her thumb and it was hurting really bad and she needed cheering up and pain killers which she hadn't yet filled the prescription for and so cheering up was all I could provide. Then I watched the president talk on tv while some people stood and some people sat and some people clapped and some people looked like they have never and will never clap in their lives and if they had at some point then they've forgotten how because of all the terrible things they've seen. Then I tried to go to sleep but couldn't so I tried harder and then I did and then I woke up around 5:30 in the morning when my roomates left for work and then I couldn't sleep again so I made a phone call and then posted pictures I have neglected to share on this silly website and then I fell back to sleep and then my alarm went off and I started to get ready for work and then I saw that you had written me so I started to write you back and here I am. That's just yesterday and today thus far.
You should tell me a story about your life.
Hope everything is sunny and wonderful.
It's snowy here.

♥
emily

December tastes like

For all his Great Expectations

Forgotten house,
of lightened street
under which
I place my head,
Have my secrets.
In the secrets of every place
I see him,
uncertain intervals.
Intimate, curious place.
I have been discussing
that inexplicable feeling,
dazed, as if in lightning
we fell into parts.
Lay until returning pains disposed,
he held my heart.

the breakup

it happened
unexpectedly
i can not eat
or get out of bed
i've never felt so alone
or so sad
when do things get easier?

what happens when you discover you're ill...

and no amount of tea will fix you? 

When this happens and you are me you go about your life as if nothing is wrong and you continue to drink lots of tea, 

just in case. 

You also take day trips on days off. Or weekend trips if you happen to be lucky enough to have a whole weekend off. 

You try to stay positive. 

You always dress the way you want to be remembered.  

today

i am twenty four

he brought me roses

and just like that

everything is okay again

Dear this week, and last week,

 Saturday and Sunday too,

You suck. 

Please stop sucking.

I'm stressed out and irritable. My head is pounding. 

Not even my red dress could cheer me up in this gloom.

I'm mad at just about everyone, except for my grandparents who took turns talking to me on the phone and remember that soon it's my birthday. 

It's hard to be ambitious when your day job has you down and you live with the people you work with and you get in trouble for things you shouldn't be getting in trouble for because you're a hard worker and you want to make everyone happy all the time but this is not possible and no matter how hard you work someone will always find something wrong with the way you do things.

It's hard to get fuzzies out of your eye without a mirror. 

It's hard to be a girl.  

It's hard to stay mad at the people you love. 

I'm grateful for the color red, my grammy and grandpa, grammy's hand embroidered denim jacket, antique pictures in frames, and promises that are kept.