Things are not the same as they were before

Friday night
rain rain rain

Over the past few weeks my life has changed greatly.

Here's how:
I can no longer call the man I've been in love with for 2 years my boyfriend. You already knew that. But I love him still, the severity of which came as a surprise even to myself. I miss him deeply.

I'm taking a portrait class at the Brooklyn Museum every Sunday and so far I'm really pleased with my work. I like who I am as an artist and I think that's important. I've realized this is something that makes me feel connected to the rest of the world, it's something that excites and challenges me, I want to do more of this, always.

You can now find my signature on a lease! As of Monday the 15th of this very month I officially reside on Metropolitan Avenue in a Brooklyn neighborhood far from the one I grew up in with people who are not my mother or a gaggle of cats. I can't believe this is actually happening. I'm nervous and terrified and excited and stressed and so happy I could do a lot of dancing without getting very tired. But first, I pack.

I have no hair. See below video. A crazy man named Gerard chopped it all off whilst I sat on a stage in the middle of a bustling convention center under glaring lights in front of a crowd of strangers with video cameras. Watching as all that was once atop my head fell into my hands as silver scissors snipped, I quickly learned what being a hair model meant and will forever avoid any and all invites to International Beauty Shows in the future.


I have no boyfriend, I have no hair, I am an artist, I'm not a very good model, I'm moving on, I'm moving out.

can anyone tell me where my hair is?!

Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

oh my god

all of my hair is gone

March of Horrors

It's March 4th and I'm sick.

Also depressed. 

I'm too discontent to explain, I've been sitting here erasing everything I write it because I can't get the words out right and it's stressing me out. 

No more writing. 

bed. "Relaxing Time" tea. blankets. sleep. 

But first, some pictures. 

I was walking home from a terrible day of work. Stupidly sick and a little wobbly I got to the block where my house sits and began to notice all these things that were just awful. It seemed that every time I took another step forward I was faced with something else that only fueled my depression. I thought it a little coincidental and odd to find so many things wrong on one block so I took a few steps backwards and took pictures. Halfway through I saw my landlady, who in herself is an awful sight, and I had to stop because I didn't want to give her an excuse to talk to me. So, this isn't everything, but here are a few of the things I saw on my block today that really depress me...

Show me something beautiful.