liquid seasonings and cream

Creaming butter and sugar, sugar and butter, creaming creaming, butter and sugar, sugar and butter, sugar and butter, sugar and butter, creaming creaming. I'm making cookies. Specifically the house shaped sugar cookies with lemon icing that people seem to respond very positively to. Each house must be decorated differently, this is because I sometimes have OCD.
The first step to making a really good cookie is to take the butter and egg out of the fridge well in advance so that the butter becomes very soft, but not too soft like how cheating by putting it in the microwave makes it, and so that the egg becomes room temperature. The second step to making a really good cookie is to beat the living shit out of your perfectly softened butter and the sugar. This step is called "creaming" and I think it's my favorite. I like watching the soft lumpy butter fuse together with the sugar and gradually turn into something entirely new. A white, fluffy, sweet, buttery dream. This is before the egg joins in and makes everything kind of gross, this is pure and simple goodness and you can beat it until your heart's content. There's no time limit like there is with some of the other steps, you can't really beat anything for very long once the egg is added, but generally the longer you cream basic butter and sugar, the better. Three minutes at least, I aim for five, it's therapeutic, I promise.
On another note, I bought something new for lunch today, some stupid "chow mein" microwavable shit from Duane Reade. I was excited by the prospect of something new but I couldn't get the packet labeled, "liquid seasoning" opened for the life of me. There was no "tear here" with a tiny little pre-ripped starter, just a bunch of raggedy edges that were impossible to tear into. I was getting ravenous. All of the other seasonings opened just fine and were already sitting atop my newly microwaved noodles. There in an unmixed heap sat the colorful dry seasoning chock full of MSG and salt, it even came with crushed up peanuts, all that was missing was this stupid fucking liquid shit and I could not open it. I had a rough morning, I was supposed to be at work at 6am all week, 4am wake ups are not easy, neither is dealing with people all day, I wanted my crappy $1.59 chow mein and I wanted it that instant. I tugged and I tugged and I tugged some more, suddenly, the tiny packet burst open but I had been prying at its package with such force that the contents flew up into the air and landed not atop the noodles and lonely dry seasonings, but instead all over my jeans and in my hair. Yes, my hair. The stuff was clear, but very oily and left me smelling like what my coworkers described as "instant soup shit" for the rest of the day. The butter and sugar have been creamed, the dough is chilling, I'm taking a nice long shower...
Adieu. Adieu. To you and you and you...